Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
How's work?
Spinning.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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