then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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