everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
this hospital has no fireball
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
