At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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