Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
