he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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