You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
