so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
