super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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