I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
is this the sara with the beer cane?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
