Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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