i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
