All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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