Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
