I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
