You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
