and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
