I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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