she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he laminated a picture of his dick.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
