If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
