There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize
