Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
