I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
