I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
