I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
