whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
