Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
