I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You smell like stripper and shame
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
