I hate your face
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
