You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize