I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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