She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
home. puking in laundry basket.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
