dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
