weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
