i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
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