I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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