at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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