Sponge bath it is.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
How's work?
Spinning.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize