So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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