he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
