S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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