He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
