You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize