some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
