And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
A+ Viking dick
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