didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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