Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
