Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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