There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
My dad is sitting where you rode me
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
