i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Randomize
