he puts the penis in happiness.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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