can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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