This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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