is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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