Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
