Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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