I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
no more duck duck goose at the bar
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
