morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize