You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
