do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
my poor anus
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